Paradiso” – Mythical place in the minds of people that perhaps represent dreams, maybe about the future, maybe about the past, maybe what once was and is not anymore, but most often the reality of today, one that often arrives without any warning. As I say in my blog, “Paradiso” is the name I give to every single day I live in this not so perfect world, were we must make the best of each and every day, every situation we face, regardless of what it is, our own paradise, giving thanks to God every day.
A series of events this year surrounding acquaintances, friends, and family, have made look at this Thanksgivings from a different perspective. Among them, the departure for paradise of six coworkers and my two dear friends George and Vicente, as well as Pastor Bill Carp a couple weeks ago, one the pastors of the church we attended. In addition, there is the diagnosis of cancer and survival this year of two dear friends Mildred and Irazema, and the miraculous birth of Joshua, my niece’s son, who herself has reminders of the miracles God makes.
The tipping point came today from two conversations I had, one with Robert, a co-worker, and one with Denise, my son’s girlfriend, who shared two stories that made me realize that we must be thankful for everything we have, and I do not mean material things, for every day we live. It is not that I have not been thankful until now, but maybe because sometimes we take it for granted.
Nothing makes you face reality more that the unexpected passing of people you know and love, people that looked healthy just recently, and that were not supposed to leave their “Paradiso” yet. As I said earlier, the passing of my friends George and Vicente this year, both in their sixties, with some significant health issues, but that otherwise seem to be doing okay, came as a surprise.
Vicente lived in Ceiba, Puerto Rico with his wife, daughter, and son and enjoyed the love of his grandson and daughter in-law as well as other family and friends. A polite and humble person born in Vieques, who was easy to be friends with, thanks to his smile, easy conversations, and the delicious refreshing grapefruit juices or “snappies” as he would call them, that he would prepare. We met thanks to my wife Lucy who met his wife at the Agricultural Extension offices in Ceiba, around 1995. We became good friends and enjoyed many times together in the open cabana that they had in the farm on countryside of Ceiba where we would gather to cook and eat.
Those were “Paradiso” times, good times that provided many memories that we cherish today. The sad part is that although I visited him and his family whenever we went to Puerto Rico. I do not really remember ever telling him how much I appreciated his friendship, until it was too late. He passed earlier this year in peace with the Lord and his family, in what his wife Ana described as a sad but very beautiful moment, shortly after I returned from a trip to the island, one in which I did not visit him. Now I am sure he tends his land, chicken, and goats in his new farm in paradise.
Another dear friend, George Cheeseman, an adopted Puerto Rican from Jacksonville Florida, arrived with the Army around 1968 and stayed. He lived on the island for nearly 30 years then moved back to Florida several years ago. He was living his “Paradiso” at large in northern Florida. He had amassed several properties, for what he would sometimes ask for my realtor opinion. He had purchased a motor home with which he planned to travel the United States, dreams that were short lived by his eventual need for dialysis three times a week.
George would sometimes call me and say, “es el hombre de queso”; it is the man of cheese, name that fitted him well thanks to his extra large frame. However, as large as he was, his heart, friendship, and happiness were bigger. They always welcomed us in their home, and visited them several times at their riverside home on the Suwannee River, near Bell Florida. He loved Puerto Rican food, pasteles, pernil, arroz con gandules, tostones, alcapurrias, which were often part of the menu when we visited, as well as the “medicina” or medicine that he would prepare, a mix of 7-up and red wine that was as refreshing as it was delicious.
Sometime last year I lost contact with him and his wife Jean. I called, left messages, sent e-mails that went unanswered, I saw no updates of their Facebook accounts and feared that something was really wrong. Then last May just before Memorial Day, I finally reached his wife who told me that George had been sick and hospitalized for many months. On Memorial Day weekend, we went to visit George and Jean at the river house. He had lost a lot of weight, and now needed a wheeled walker to move, but his smile, love for live and huge friendship was still strong. We spent the day catching up on our stories, remembering Puerto Rico, and of course talking about its food. We brought him avocados from Miami, bread from Los Cidrines, a Puerto Rican bakery that ships its bread frozen to many places in Florida, where it is baked fresh, and pasteles that we bought in Ocala.
We left that day relieved and happy of having seen them again, with plans to return on Labor Day weekend with all the ingredients to cook up patita de cerdo con macarrones y garbanzos, pork hocks stew with macaronis and chick peas, a Puerto Rican dish that he loved. On August 24th I received a call from Jean; George had left “Paradiso” and moved to a bigger and better mansion. He passed a day after having spent the day teaching his grandson to ride a four-wheeler. George never spoke about God during his conversations, but I’m sure that with his loving and caring nature God had a place for him in heaven.
Another event that took place last year was the arrival to our family of Joshua, son of my niece. Joshua’s birth was a miracle of God. You see, the doctors had told my niece and her husband to expect a baby with health problems so severe that he would only last maybe hours or maybe days. However, Joshua arrived on this world with a different plan, one of staying here for a long while. He arrived determined to enjoy his “Paradiso” as God had planned, not as the doctors called for. He underwent several surgeries and came out of them each time without complications, and got stronger and stronger. He always has a smile that brightens any room, and a happiness that is God sent.
Well, last month I learned that Joshua would have to undergo surgery to remove one of his legs from the knee down, because it was not developing, and the damage was beyond recovery. This of course saddened his parents as well as the whole family, but understanding that it was necessary, and without a doubt part of God’s bigger plan. Last Tuesday Joshua had his surgery, again without complications. In fact, the doctors had estimated that he would spend one week at the hospital, but everything went so perfect that he would only stay overnight. My brother told yesterday that when Joshua woke up from the surgery in the recovery room, his started to say hi with his hand to the staff caring for him, like if he was saying “hi, I’m back and here to stay”. It seems to me that God has big plans with the miracle child He has put on our care.
Today as I closed my day at work, I asked Robert, a co-worker what plans he had for Thanksgivings. Going to the movies, he said, then doing some schoolwork. Are you getting together with family tomorrow? I asked. I do not have any family, he said. I only have my foster mother who lives out of state. Do you have any brothers or sisters? I asked. Only one step-sister, daughter of my foster mom, he answered. You mean to tell me that you do not have any blood relatives? I insisted. None that I know, he said. I lived on foster homes since I was 4 or 5 years old and aside for short periods of time that they would place me with some relative, but I was always removed due to problems in the family, he said. I do not know where any of these people are.
Robert you see is a young African American in his early 30’s with a smile of a thousand bucks, friendly disposition, always ready to strike a conversation. He loves expensive clothing, expensive cars and has dreams of becoming a singer and he has so many friends that he considers himself a celebrity. He joined the Marines, and studied while in the military, always aiming to better himself. He obtained his bachelors, then his master’s degree, now he pursuing his doctorate. Despite his lack of a true family, he managed to stay out of trouble, and now works for the government. When you speak with Robert, you would never imagine the rough childhood he had. He has put his troubles in God’s hands, and aims at living a life sharing his friendship and seeking the family love he never had as a child. He is yet to find that elusive family love he seeks but God has blessed him with many friends. He is grateful to God for all He has given to him, and big dreams aside, he is a kind and humble individual, making his own “Paradiso”.
To close I will share with you the story of Darlene, who is a 21 year old lady who 6 years ago had a life changing experience. She was traveling in the rear seat of a friend’s car, when two other cars collided, in front of the car she was traveling. As a result, the driver of the car she was traveling lost control and the car hit a palm tree sideways splitting the car in two. The rear half of the car where she was sitting spun and the seatbelt holding her failed. She was ejected from the mangled half vehicle and landed on the pavement, and instantly became a quadriplegic.
The life changing experience Darlene underwent impacted the whole family and surely cut many plans and many dreams. Although Darlene surely has tough moments, her sister tells me that, she is a happy person that has adapted to her new life, depending on others, depending on God. She has a computer, and loves to write on her Facebook page. You cannot tell that she is a quadriplegic by reading her Facebook page, her sister told me. Darlene without a doubt has found her own “Paradiso”.
I hope that these stories help you see this Thanksgivings in a different way as it did for me. Throught these people’s stories I am trying to remind you that no matter what your “Paradiso” looks like, there is a lot to give thanks to God for, our family, our friends, our health and our lives. Make sure that you tell those who you love, that you do, and often. Life is fleeting, enjoy every moment of every day as if it is the last one because we never know when God will call us with an unexpected change of plans. Have a Happy Thanksgivings!
